5 Family Survival Skills for the Holidays

Surviving holidaysWelcome to the holidays!

Eager parents greet you at the door with their unedited worries.
Disinterested siblings wave from across the room.
And you silently slip back into your childhood role in the family.

Does anyone recognize you have changed?
Are you hiding your present self to appease the family?

In any case, welcome back to what you have been avoiding all year.
Should you just grin and bear it – counting down until your airplane ticket becomes valid?

Well, how about figuring out a strategy before you get there?

  1. Calm down and keep breathing! If you get triggered, step back and calm down with some slow breathing. Exhale slowly and make a “shhh” sound to relax your muscles and release tension. This also slows down your heart rate and blood pressure.
  2. Practice radical acceptance! Get rid of your fantasy that a challenging family member is finally going to be different this time. Accept that they are who they are and that can impact you for the moment, but this visit won’t last forever.
  3. Let go of needing to be right! For the brief visit, let the other person be right. Attempt to understand where they are coming from without having to agree with them. If you are able to acknowledge their position without jumping in to refute it, they may lower their need to be defensive, become less challenging and feel understood.
  4. Put yourself at the top of the list! Take care of yourself. Make sure you get enough sleep, and eat enough food. A tired and cranky you will do nothing to make it a great day. And if you need to escape for some “me” time, then do it!
  5. Don’t let them get to you! Your family is well aware of how to push your buttons, but if you refuse to play, they can’t continue the negative cycle without you. Those who try to engage negatively are, oddly enough, looking for a way to connect. Engage them in a task or activity where they can lead the way and be the center of attention in a healthy manner.

As the holidays get closer, these skills can help you, in the short term, get through a family visit without flipping your lid.

Is there deeper work to do here?
Yes.

Is it too overwhelming to take on?
No.

It’s possible to undo these subconscious knots that have tied you to your past through the process of Theta Healing – a meditation that allows you to access your subconscious mind and change damaging beliefs and painful emotions so the heavy work gets lighter.
Want to experience Theta Healing?

Join me for the FREE “Surviving the Holidays with Your Family 5 Day Challenge,” where Theta Healing can help you heal the top 5 triggers that drive you crazy when you visit your family for the holidays.

Click here to learn more and sign up!

How to Get Through a Rough Patch: Coping with a Dark Night of the Soul

Everybody goes through a rough patch. And sometimes that’s an understatement. Welcome to the Dark Night of the Soul. This is a time of great transition when you have lost your current identity but have yet to create your new one. You could be going through a divorce, a loved one passed away, you lost your job or just feel like you’re stuck and don’t know how to free yourself.

In any case, this is the time when good advice is essential. Dr. Michael Beckwith, a leader in the New Thought Movement, author and founder of the Agape Church in Los Angeles, has some of the best advice I’ve heard on the subject.

He says, when you’re losing your identification and you don’t know who you’re becoming yet, ask this question:

If this experience were to last forever, what qualities would have to emerge for you to have peace of mind?

As you know, what you focus on increases in size and strength. By answering this question you now become aware of the actual qualities that will get you through this dark night rather than keep you stuck in your suffering.

There is a reason for everything we experience in our lives. We may never be privy to all of the wisdom that would keep us away from life’s challenging times, but at least we can rest assured that when they come our way, we can move through them with integrity, resilience and hope. Thank you, Dr. Beckwith.

~Karen Abrams

 

This post was originally posted on GodSelf University

Thoughts on How to Remain Calm Inside the Storm

Sometimes when we hit major challenges or sudden shifts we can feel alone and isolated. It’s difficult to remain calm, cool and collected. In Theta Healing, we have a way of accessing love to help us through this time.

When events occur in ways that are unexpected, what do you do? What do you say?

After the initial shock you want to step back and get some accurate information about what really happened and act accordingly.  The more we know and feel that we are connected to All There Is, the more the answers flow in with grace and ease as we are able to move through this time and get on with living in our highest and best.

When facing conflict, step back, access the love in the universe, and let the solution flow in.

How Not to Care What People Think of You

The path of loving yourself leads to trusting your own opinion.

What people think about you can greatly affect the relationship you have with someone. It can govern the way you perceive the person as well as how you act around him or her. And most of all, it confines the space in which this relationship exists, disallowing it to become anything other than what it is at this moment.

The key to caring less about being judged by others is self-confidence and self-acceptance. But how do you get there?

In Theta, you can free yourself from being shackled to others’ opinions of you or anyone else. This comes from learning who you truly are from God’s perspective and loving yourself unconditionally from the inside out. These two bits of information redirect the way you make decisions and who you allow to come into your life. Better decisions bring better choices, and better choices bring in better opportunities to lift yourself to a whole new level.