Welcome to the holidays!
Eager parents greet you at the door with their unedited worries.
Disinterested siblings wave from across the room.
And you silently slip back into your childhood role in the family.
Does anyone recognize you have changed?
Are you hiding your present self to appease the family?
In any case, welcome back to what you have been avoiding all year.
Should you just grin and bear it – counting down until your airplane ticket becomes valid?
Well, how about figuring out a strategy before you get there?
- Calm down and keep breathing! If you get triggered, step back and calm down with some slow breathing. Exhale slowly and make a “shhh” sound to relax your muscles and release tension. This also slows down your heart rate and blood pressure.
- Practice radical acceptance! Get rid of your fantasy that a challenging family member is finally going to be different this time. Accept that they are who they are and that can impact you for the moment, but this visit won’t last forever.
- Let go of needing to be right! For the brief visit, let the other person be right. Attempt to understand where they are coming from without having to agree with them. If you are able to acknowledge their position without jumping in to refute it, they may lower their need to be defensive, become less challenging and feel understood.
- Put yourself at the top of the list! Take care of yourself. Make sure you get enough sleep, and eat enough food. A tired and cranky you will do nothing to make it a great day. And if you need to escape for some “me” time, then do it!
- Don’t let them get to you! Your family is well aware of how to push your buttons, but if you refuse to play, they can’t continue the negative cycle without you. Those who try to engage negatively are, oddly enough, looking for a way to connect. Engage them in a task or activity where they can lead the way and be the center of attention in a healthy manner.
As the holidays get closer, these skills can help you, in the short term, get through a family visit without flipping your lid.
Is there deeper work to do here?
Is it too overwhelming to take on?
It’s possible to undo these subconscious knots that have tied you to your past through the process of Theta Healing – a meditation that allows you to access your subconscious mind and change damaging beliefs and painful emotions so the heavy work gets lighter.
Want to experience Theta Healing?
Join me for the FREE “Surviving the Holidays with Your Family 5 Day Challenge,” where Theta Healing can help you heal the top 5 triggers that drive you crazy when you visit your family for the holidays.